• Imperfect Life

    Left Out of the Picture

    Recently I had a moment with my family that I can’t shake off. I can’t seem to get over. No matter how much I try to tell my self it doesn’t matter, I can’t help but feel it does. My younger brother got married in January. It was a beautiful wedding. A wonderful night. The bride is a lovely person, inside and out and I’m thrilled to have her as a sister-in-law. I was so proud as I watched my brother see his bride for the first time. See his face light up and the emotion that went over it as she continued to walk towards him. My other brother…

  • Imperfect Marriage

    I’m Sorry, But…

    What is an apology? What does an apology mean to you? The definition of an apology is: a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure. To me, an apology means that a person understood their actions negatively impacted me. It means they acknowledge what their actions meant to me and will try their best to not repeat such actions in the future. My husband cannot apologize. All of his apologies begin, I’m sorry, but… I call this his faux-apology. It communicates that he is aware I am offended, but he doesn’t regret his actions or feels he is still right in some way, shape or form. In our twenty-three years…

  • Imperfect Life

    Adversity Invites us to Renew our Faith in God

    Adversity tests whether you are what you thought you were. We all have this idea in our heads of what kind of person we think we are. We are complacent creatures, who settle into our beliefs, never considering change. Never considering we might need to change or might require a difference in our life. The hardships that we face are a means through which God works to accomplish His will in our lives. He sues these hardships to shape us. When we are faced with adversity, we are forced to face problems that are too difficult for us to overcome alone. We need to realize that our adversities are meant…

  • Imperfect Christian,  Imperfect Life

    What Led Me Down This Path

    What led me to create my blog? What led me down this path? My whole life I have been a mom. Even before I had children of my own, I helped raise my two younger brothers whom my mother had when I was in my teens. The oldest of the two is only eight years older than my oldest son, and the youngest of the two is six years older than my oldest. I have loved being a mom. It’s been my entire identity for all of my adulthood. I had often been ridiculed by other women, in both supportive and negative ways, for feeling that being a mom was…

  • Imperfect Life

    I Can Only Imagine

    My husband and I watched the movie I Can Only Imagine┬álast night. First off it is a fantastic song written and performed by Bart Millard. Secondly, the film was beautiful, touching and endearing. I knew the song so I knew I would love the movie; however, I was not prepared for how personally I would react to it. Spoiler ahead if you haven’t seen it… I can only imagine how Bart Millard felt when his father told him he was proud of him. Seriously, I can only imagine how that would feel, and I had no idea I had a hole in me until I watched the movie. That moment…

  • Imperfect Life

    We Know Not the Reason nor the Design for God’s Plan

    As I mentioned, my mother had a tough childhood and a rocky family structure. As the story goes, her parents would get paid, buy alcohol, drink and get drunk and then get into violent, sometimes even physical fights that the neighbors would come out and watch. The neighbors could even schedule these events as they happened weakly on my grandparents’ payday. My mother is a very private person, and this was humiliating for her growing up. Who wouldn’t want to escape such a life? She met my biological father when she was 21. He was a car salesman at the time and sold her first car to her. From what…

  • Imperfect Life

    Learning to Live with and Accept an Imperfect Life

      I spent much of my life crying to God, asking why he would let me have such a tough life. Why did He allow bad thing after bad thing happen to me? Why did I start off life with such a screwed up family? I was a mostly good person and a good community member. I don’t commit crimes or break the law of man, nor God. I could be a better person in my thoughts against others, but most of the world carries that same fault. I honestly was a reasonably good person. So why, God, why was I born into such a cruddy life? I felt my…

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  • Imperfect Christian

    I am an Imperfect Christian

    What does it mean to be a good Christian? I feel as though there is pressure to be a specific “type” of Christian. That when people find out you are a Christian or hear that someone else is a Christian, they think “what a goody-two-shoes,” or they must be a “goody-two-shoes.” That person must only read the bible and devotionals. They must preach all day long, and they must expect me to join their church and way of life. They must only do religious activities for fun. They must just believe what their church preaches. I would probably be considered a lousy Christian. Remember though, the title of this post……

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  • Imperfect Motherhood

    I am an Imperfect Mother

    I dreamt of being the perfect mom. My children would be so loved and cared for! I would make everything perfect for them. We would make all the right decisions, and they would grow up to be incredible, amazing and brilliant people! Seriously! What was I thinking? No one can be the perfect mother! First of all my children were going to be safe kids and were NOT going to play with guns! No toy guns were allowed to be purchased by anyone for our children. Violent television shows were not allowed on t.v. Everything was going to be kid-friendly and safe! Ha! One day when my older two boys…

  • Imperfect Marriage

    I have an Imperfect Marriage

    There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. If someone tells you that their marriage is perfect, they are lying and just trying to make the world think they and their lives are perfect. But that isn’t possible. No one is perfect! People are unique, different from one another, which means there will be conflicts in those unique personalities. My husband and I have been living in an imperfect marriage for almost 23 years now. In those 23 years, we have loved, and we have hated. Yes, we have hated each other! Oh, my goodness, who admits that?!?! Yet, it is true. We have gotten so lost in our…